Wyclef is running for president of Haiti, but the son of a Nazarene minister said he's not so much running as he is ordained. "I'm not running for president so much as I'm being drafted," 'Clef explained. "The youth, in their mind if I don't come and put a perspective to things, they feel there's no future for the country, and I have to agree with them." Sounds kinda like the cultural revolution, but whatever, we're gonna bet on the guy with the guitar this election. [NYTimes]

Mike Tyson had another gem in his interview with ESPN (though it's actually kinda sad, and we love Mike). On the worst part about being 250 lbs, Iron Mike explained "It was hard to wipe my butt...I was sweating like some kind of guy from a moon project or something. It was crazy...All the clothes you see me with now are clothes that I had 15, 20 years ago. [Host: Did you have the back fat and everything?] Oh man the back fat. The back fat is when it's so bad, your a-s looks like a board. It's like boom. The back and a-s is one. It's not like the back goes down and the butt protrudes. No. It's just straight down. And then girls were telling me I looked great. It has to be a money deal. It had to be." We love you Mike. [SportsRadioInterviews]