Lyricism means so much in hip-hop and rappers are supposed to be wordsmiths. But sometimes even the best of them get a little tripped up and downright confused. From KRS One declaring critics to be "a little unrational" on "My Philosophy" to Nas comparing himself to "OH-zie" Davis, there have been quite a few lyrical blunders and bizarro rhymes that have come from the legendary and not-so-legendary.
We've compiled a list of some of the most ridiculous, wackiest, head-scratching lyrics to leave MC's mouths over the past few decades.
Gang Starr featuring Nice & Smooth"DWYCK"
"Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is/I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis"
Wait. Huh? What does lemonade have to do with Bruce Willis again? We love Guru but... No, dude.
Eminem"Love the Way You Lie"
“Now you get to watch her leave out the window / Guess that’s why they call it window pane.”
This is a pretty clear cut case of what happens when homonyms go bad. Eminem is one of the best lyricists hip-hop ever produced, but no one will ever be referencing this line as an example.
Dr. Dre"Keep Their Headz Ringing"
“I kick plenty of ass, so call me an astronaut.”
Because Buzz Aldrin is totally getting all of the ass. This is why Dre should stick to ghostwriters.
"Larry Hoover jumped off the mountaintop and turned into a golden eagle."
Maybe this is some sort of elaborate drug metaphor. If so, it’s a really, really bad one.
Nice & Smooth"Hip Hop Junkies"
"After marriage the honeymoon, I'll be damn gag me with a spoon/Who loves Popeye, Alice the goon."
It was so difficult to pick one line from one of the most utterly ridiculous verses known to hip-hop. This verse took the cake even for Greg Nice, who stayed uttering mumbo-jumbo.
“Bitches s--- my d--- because I look like J.K. Rowling.”
Okay, so Lil B has made a career of being purposely ironic. But this is a pretty clear case of being super excited to use the new word you just learned in a sentence… like any sentence at all. In Lil B’s case, he probably heard J.K. Rowling on the news, probably something about the go-trillion dollars she made off of the Harry Potter series and decided to name drop her, not even realizing that J.K. is, you know, an English white woman.
Black Eyed Peas"I Gotta Feeling"
“Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday.”
Of course Will.i.am had to be extra—look at how he spells his name.
Juelz Santana"Black Republicans"
"Rock star, flier than an ostrich."
Except an ostrich doesn’t fly.
"Weezy F. Baby and the 'F' is for phenomenal."
No, the “F” is for fail—in spelling.
"I say what's next, what's next, what's N-X-E-T."
Who was in the studio that day? How’d the session engineer let that one ride? Seriously. Warren G needs better friends.
Jay Z"It’s Hot (Some Like It Hot)"
".38 revolve like the sun round the Earth."
Twenty bucks says B.O.B. has this line framed and hanging on his living room wall next to the dartboard with Neil deGrasse Tyson’s face. Hint: the earth revolves around the sun.
"I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian/Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian."
If you’re gonna borrow the line, don’t screw it up by being completely culturally ignorant, Chingy.
"I was In Too Deep like Mekhi Phife."
That time Omar Epps didn’t get name dropped in a song because ‘Ye confused him with Mekhi Phifer.
"There's three of us/But we're not the Beatles."
Nope, you’re not. Maybe because there are four Beatles.
"My paragraph alone is worth five mics/A twelve song LP, that's thirty-six mics"
Except 12 x 5 doesn’t equal 36, Red. Just sayin’.
“You with Aladdin? I’ve got a magic carpet for that ass”
So, is he talking to Jasmine? As in Jasmine the cartoon? As in he wants Jasmine the cartoon’s ass and threatens to take her from Aladdin, who is also a cartoon? This is getting weirder by the second.
Rick Ross"I Love My Bitches"
“Am I really just a narcissist, cause I wake up to a bowl of lobster bisque?”
That’s not really being a narcissist, maybe greedy, but not a narcissist.
"You like to exaggerate/dream and imaginate..."
Imaginate a world where "imaginate" is a word.
Foxy Brown"Affirmative Action" (Nas)
"Keys is one and two-fifth, so how we flip/Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half/Get sixteen, double it times three/We got forty-eight, which mean a whole lot of cream..."
If you "get sixteen, double it times three" (16 x 2 = 32, then 32 x 3 ), you've got 96--not 48. This whole verse is a study in how the public school system fails to effectively teach algebra.
Canibus"Second Round K.O."
"You might got more cash than me, but you ain't got the skills to eat a n----'s ass like me."
Just gonna leave this right here. Guess you gotta do whatever it takes to keep a relationship together.