Ciara and Future Need a Minute—Let’s Give it to Them

After a messy public battle, it’s been determined that Ciara and Future will share joint custody of their two-year-old son, Zahir Wilburn (Future Jr.).  Let’s be clear here: Ciara did not lose custody of her son. A California court decided that she will not be granted sole custody and instead, must share joint custody with Future. Also, just because Ciara was pushing for sole custody, doesn't necessarily mean that she was trying to keep Future completely away from her son. Many times sole custody comes with visitation rights—such as weekends, holidays, summers, etc. Joint custody means that an equal amount of time must be spent with both parents. It looks something like, Monday-Wednesday at mommy's, Thursday-Sunday at daddy's then switch for the next week.

While it’s trendy to make uninformed statements on Twitter about the parental skills of both stars—Ciara’s dating life and Future’s ongoing temper tantrums over Ciara’s dating life—the truth is, this is about their kid. It’s not really that surprising that the courts denied Ciara sole custody. California law (like many other states) typically leans toward granting joint custody in cases where neither parent is deemed fundamentally unfit. So yes, Ciara may feel so publicly wronged by Future that she filed a defamation suit, but unless Future has proven to be a harm to his son, he has rights to equal parenting—no matter how many other children he has.

Ciara and Future aren't fighting over who gets the last red Starburst. They're embroiled in a battle that directly affects the life of a child. We need to give them a minute to figure this out, because they have to figure it out.

Breakups can be endlessly nasty affairs. Remember that time you left that really unnecessarily long, mean comment on your ex’s 'Gram? Remember that time you sub-tweeted your former boo? Remember that time you made your newly-ditched lover the crying Jordan meme and shared it with the homies? Yeah, that was ugly behavior. But it would’ve been 100 times worse if you were living your life in the public eye. And it would’ve been 1,000 times worse if you lived your life in the public eye and there was a kid involved. This is the issue for Ciara and Future. For every nice, amicable breakup that goes down, there’s another that causes all hell to break loose. What’s going on with Ciara and Future is sad but not uncommon—so stop being judgy. Because it's lame.

After all, the real issue here is Future Jr. and if as parents, Ciara and Future will be able to keep it together enough to raise a healthy child together. The courts didn’t just grant joint custody— it basically demanded that Future and Ciara put on their big boy/girl draws and co-parent their child. Yep, it’s easier said than done. Much easier. It’s much easier to sit behind keyboards and sling out half-formed opinions and bullshit insults about Future and Ciara’s character traits and parenting skills. Parenting is very hard for a couple that actually gets along. It’s incredibly difficult for two people who can’t stand each other.

This joint custody ruling means a few things. One: Future—you're going to have to get over it, dude. You and Ciara are no longer together and Ciara has moved on. By default, your son will be around another man. If that man is not physically, mentally or psychologically abusing your child-- you have to let it ride, man. This is called adulting. Are you required to be besties with Russell Wilson? Nah. In all fairness, dude does seem kind of corny. But that doesn’t matter because he’s marrying your ex and he’s going to be around your child. You don't have to start cheering for the Seahawks--but the situation will be much easier if your able to be cordial with the guy. Make the best of it.

Oh, and also, continue to refrain from speaking publicly about Ciara’s sex life and your former role in it. No one cares. It’s immature at best and lawsuit-worthy at worst.  Take a cue from your good pal Drake and pour your tattered emotional state into a maudlin tune with snappy drum patterns when you feel like venting to the 'Gram or bloodthirsty reporters. You’re better than that. Yes, at one time you thought your love with CiCi was forever but alas, it wasn’t. We’ve all been there. She moved on. It’s what happens when people, you know, break up. Deal. Because at the end of the day, here’s the real issue: one day, Future Jr. will be old enough to read the things you’ve said about his mother. How do you think he’ll feel about that? How do you think it will affect him and his views--not of his mother, but of you, Future, as the man talking badly about his mama? It’s not gonna be pretty. The upside is, you have time to get out of your feelings and rectify the damage you’ve done because your kid is still so young. Handle that, playa.

And Ciara; as painful as it is, you’re going to have to realize that Future’s treatment of you doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll treat your son poorly. Yes, it's probably heart-wrenching to think about being away from your only child for days at time—that’s totally understood. But as painful as it is, because you and Future were unable to end things amicably and communicate with one another, the courts had to be involved. It sucks, letting strangers determine the fate of your child. We get it.  Normally, the courts always prefer that the parents be able to mutually decide custody of children. But as it is… this is the reality. As much as you may detest Future, he’s the father of your son. And if Future is a fit, loving parent, he should be able to be active in his child's life. Basically, you gotta let shit go and try to have at least a cordial relationship with him for the sake of your boy.

For the sake of Baby Future, let's hope that this entire situation is peacefully resolved quickly, and that Ciara and Future can learn to work together, if only for the well-being of their son.