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Miss Rap Supreme: Five Alive!

Last week on Miss Rap Supreme, Lilliputian boxer (?) Bree was given the heave-ho, paring the finalists down to five. “Bree…went out swingin’ hard and i think viewers really respect her fire,” said producer Sacha Jenkins. “Must be really difficult to focus on your rhyme flow when there’s some much interpersonal drama poppin’ off. Hey ladies: can we all just get along?”

The remaining ladies celebrated by drinking and of course, rapping about drinking. Then Rece fell asleep in her own vomit and Nikki2states said she “got her” and would “fight to the end,” which meant clean her up. Nikki went on to reveal that she has experience with such things because she has four kids (!) of her own. Apparently they like to party.

The next morning Nikki came in to check on Rece, who was rolled up in her blanket like a drunk burrito. “I said I’d hold you down, right b—-?” Nikki asked with concern.

YoYo showed up dressed as a Michael Jackson impersonator, and she and Serch had the girls perform their secret “talents” as if being top 5 dead-or-alive rappers wasn’t enough. The talents ranged from hula hoop to double dutch skills. Byata and Rece were then picked as team leaders for the next challenge; recording a pop song with Just Blaze, to be played on LA radio.

Byata said something mystifying about being “a white girl, so I got this” and they picked teams. Rece chose Nikki, who spent a while bugging out about the fact that her team had “Two people. Two people. Two…people.” Byata ran with Cherry and Chiba, naming her team “Buttah” because they flow like butter. Which doesn’t actually flow.

They debuted the songs live on KDAY with Tha Goodfellas, receiving an overwhelmingly positive response. Highlights included Rece, Chiba and Cherry, but Byata took the golf hat, and her team won.

For the elimination, the rappers on the losing team were challenged to write about their fathers. Rece rocked some kind of Vietnamese rainsuit and ethered her dad acapella, while Nikki kicked a Mother Goose-reminiscent missive to her stepfather. Serch addressed the white elephant in the room saying “This is not about rappers, it’s about emcees. It’s about masters of ceremony.” And with that, Nikki2States was told to get to steppin’.

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