Kanye Reflects on Losing Mother and Alexander McQueen

Extroverted rapper Kanye West doesn't hold anything back when it comes to what's on his mind, but these days the Chicago emcee has muzzled his public outbursts, mostly taking to his new blog to get his feelings out. In his latest blog post the 32-year-old reflected on his success, the death of his friend designer Alexander McQueen and the importance of creativity.

"I'm on the plane listening to 'The College Dropout,' it brings back so many memories," he wrote. "When we made it I had all 6 parents. 4 grandparents, and my mom and my dad. Now I have my dad and my grandfather." West went on to reminisce about working to get his music on the radio before hitting it big in 2004. Despite his success he says he still has something to prove. "I never feel like I'm not the underdog. I never feel completely comfortable. I'm tormented by the need to create. With the loss of [fashion designer Alexander] McQueen, I feel like we lost one of the faces of modern creativity's Mount Rushmore. There were times that the only thing that kept me on this Earth was the need and responsibility to create."

McQueen committed suicide last month in his London apartment. The death of the designer's mother was believed to be at the forefront of McQueen's reported depression. West also lost his mother, and went on to express his empathy in the post. "I know how it feels when the night demons come. We can't let them control our hands and feet. Sometimes when it hurts so bad we have to just lay in the bed. Just lay in the bed and don't move. Please, I know how it feels."

West also talked about working on his forthcoming album 'Good Ass Job,' which he says has brought him to tears. "When something is so ground breaking I'm reminded of why I live. The music keeps us alive. I was blessed with the opportunity to bring my and others dreams to life. It's like performing magic or something. It's surreal. We bring the unrealistic to reality."

'Good Ass Job' is rumored to be dropping sometime this year.