‘This Is Hot 97′ Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Maino Uses Scare Tactics, Laura Stylez Plans Macklemore’s Birthday Party
It’s only Episode 4 of the first season of 'This Is Hot 97' and we’ve seen Kanye West make a guest appearance, Peter Rosenberg try to edge his way into a threesome with his wife and another woman, a cursing Funkmaster Flex doll and Miss Info making serious fun of Cipha Sounds (never forget the "rap Teletubbies"). This week, poor rookie Laura Stylez gets the task of throwing a little birthday celebration for Grammy-winning (you mad?) rapper Macklemore. Even Angie Martinez manages to push her boss around a little bit.
The Hot 97 gang kicks off their day at a staff meeting. Upon the news that Maino is in the house, Rosenberg gets excited. According to him, he's “the quintessential Brooklyn rapper -- did a stint in jail and rolls around with scary dudes.”
When they meet later that day, Maino talks about jail a lot. It prompts some funny wisdom from Rosenberg, “I would do well in jail. I like the organized schedule,” he explains. Rosenberg mentions something about also being able to watch wrestling every Monday and Friday. It turns out that Maino’s into wrestling and Rosenberg invites him over later that night to hang out.
Cipha gives Maino an idea to really scare the Jewish out of Rosenberg. It starts in the bathroom. Maino doesn’t wash his hands, shakes Rosenberg’s hand and then rubs his head. The rapper then adds about five people to his already large entourage. Rosenberg looks nervous.
Cipha and Drewski lay some more groundwork to this debacle. They pretend there’s an e-vite going out and tell the already petrified Rosenberg that, maybe, 45 people or more are going to show up at his apartment. For some giggles, Drewski, who was a DJ for Maino on tour, tells him a scary tour tale of everyone smashing each other’s girlfriends and wives and not getting mad at each other. Finally, Cipha just asks, “Do you have metal detectors? Do you have a panic room?” Mission accomplished.
Already thinking there’s going to be a massive blow out at his place, he bounces some ideas off of Cipha to cancel on Maino. What if he tells Maino his grandmother passed? “He’s gonna wanna see a body,” Cipha responds. What if Rosenberg tells Maino his cable got cut? “You’re Jewish, he’s gonna know you paid your cable bill,” Cipha continues. Rosenberg then receives a text that Maino is already waiting for him at his place.
Rosenberg approaches Maino’s SUV and knocks on the window. The rapper puts his window down and simply says, “Get in the car.” He’s obviously watched the Godfather plenty of times. Rosenberg hops in the back of the SUV and squeezes in between two members of Maino’s entourage like he’s riding a downtown bound NYC train on a Monday morning. He nervously tells Maino he might have to postpone.
Maino asks him if it’s because he’s black, to which Rosenberg confesses, “I’m not scared of Maino because he’s black! I’m scared of Maino because he’s Maino.” Maino lets the cat out of the bag and lets Rosenberg finally rest easy.
During her brief video addiction in a previous 'This Is Hot 97' episode, we got to see Angie Martinez’s competitive side. Today, she's adding her son’s candy drive to the mix. Remember those in school? Those were the worst. Now, there’s a candy drive, a quota and Angie’s competitive streak -- the perfect combination. She hits up Maino for money. “I feel no guilt for taking [rapper’s] money,” Angie says. After all, it’s for the children. Maino shells out $300. Damn, she can hustle. She later does the same to Flex, except he donates more than Maino with $500, and then takes Miss Info’s lunch money.
You know our motto around here: Angie time is the best time. If it involves her scamming Ebro for money, we’ll accept this Angie time. That’s an OG move -- going into someone’s wallet and just taking cash out, and that’s exactly what Angie does. We’re going to need to her to teach a proper class on that. Ebro’s left without any cash to buy some trail mix. “Now I gotta go to Macklemore’s birthday hungry, and eat cake like a fat boy -- like Ciph and Rosenberg,” Ebro says.
Earlier in the day, Ebro gives Laura the task of being in charge of Macklemore’s surprise party. We find out the reason Ebro is so pressed for this party is because he dissed Macklemore’s Grammy win. Before leaving Laura with this delegated karma, he hands her the budget: $5. Sounds about right.
With little to no time to throw together a party together for a Grammy winner, Laura goes to her co-workers for some ideas and help. Miss Info suggests she make him a macaroni necklace. “I made [my mom] a necklace out of macaroni. She still wears that necklace to this day,” Info admits. Laura practically runs to the arms of Flex for some help. Unfortunately, thanks to Angie, his money is deeply invested in Candy Land.
Laura manages to throw something together: cake, cupcakes, and colorful decorations -- the works. It was basically the party our parents threw us when we turned 3 years old. Ebro disapproves and sends Laura on a tailspin to the cafeteria where she finds a big surprise.
It turns out that Flex comes through for Laura and has an already packaged gift ready for her. By that point Laura has Ebro so far up her cavity that when Flex tells her, “You’re gonna win with that,” she totally believes she will and runs to the studio. Macklemore walks into the conference room and it’s obvious that he actually thinks the “toddler swag” birthday party is sweet. There’s actually a bead of sweat going down Ebro’s face when the 'Can't Hold Us' rapper is opening his present, but all is well when he approves of his Macaroni Macklemore portrait.
Next week, Flex helps Angie go shopping for a new car and Ricki Lake, we think, makes an appearance. Don’t know who Ricki Lake is? You have a week to look her up.