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Remy Ma Pens Letter From Prison

Remy Ma is speaking out about life in prison. The Bronx native, who was sentenced to eight years behind bars after shooting her former friend in the stomach, is serving her time at New York’s Bedford Correctional Facility. “I always find myself thinking about what I was doing a year ago, two years ago, five years ago today,” she wrote. “I never remember exactly where ’til I find myself imagining where I would be today.”

Born Remy Smith, the 28-year-old rapper, began her sentence last summer. Among the many things that remind her of her current status is listening to the radio. “I rarely listen to the radio because it’s sort of depressing. Not being able to record is stressful not because I’m a rapper but because that was my way of venting and expressing myself. ” Smith jokes that she was used to sending her rhymes via text message, stating that she writes so much that she has a callous on her finger.

“Not being able to go somewhere when you want, see your family when you want… can’t use the phone, take a shower, wear clothes, or even eat when you want…. super aggravating,” she wrote. “Whenever, I get visits, a lot of kids ask for autographs. It’s something that I used to do almost everyday but now it actually feels weird, I really feel like an inmate. As much as I hate to admit it, I really am an inmate. It kind of grows on you when certain people go out of there way to make you feel like that.”

Smith is also contemplating participating in the Youth Assistant Program, which brings young people to visit inmates, in an attempt to sway them from a life of crime.

“Everyone in prison isn’t innocent but everyone in prison isn’t guilty. So whether you end up here on purpose or by accident, the pain you’re feeling is still the same. I can quote a lot [of] ‘gangsters’ by saying that ‘I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.’” Smith signed the letter, “Forever Innocent, Rem.”

The shooting incident, which took place in front of a New York nightclub in 2007, left Makeda Barnes-Joseph wounded behind a dispute over money. According to reports, Smith believed Barnes-Joseph, a former friend, stole $3,000 from her purse. The then 24-year-old victim later identified Smith as the shooter. Despite undergoing several surgeries Barnes-Joseph still suffers from numbness in her legs but says that she has since forgiven her Smith.

While on trial the rapper was portrayed as unremorseful, which some believe may have swayed jurors who originally thought she was innocent. Adding insult to injury her fiancee, fellow rapper Shamele “Papoose” Mackie, became outraged at the trial screaming that the victim was out for money. The couple was set to wed while Smith was in prison but the ceremony was later called off.

Smith will be released in 2015.

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