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Nick Cannon Wages War Against Eminem

Nick Cannon has a bone to pick with Eminem so in the true spirit of the technological age, the 28-year-old announced his “beef” via the Internet. Cannon took to his blog to address unflattering comments made about his wife, Mariah Carey, on Em’s track ‘Bagpipes from Baghdad.’ The leaked song is off Em’s new album ‘Relapse’ and is said to be a reaction to an alleged relationship he had with the singer. Boasting explicit lyrics, Em clearly calls out both Cannon and Carey. “Nick Cannon you prick,” he rhymes. “I wish you luck with the f—n whore.”

Cannon responded via his blog and posted a nude Photoshopped picture of the Detroit rapper with a butterfly covering his private parts and a thought bubble that reads ‘I wish I was Nick Cannon.’ Carey’s hubby didn’t stop with the pic. “Well, well, well. Fresh off the plane with my wife from our second honeymoon on the beautiful secluded islands of the Maldives and what do I find in my email box?” He wrote. “A mediocre (at best) Eminem record that sounds like it was written in 2001. At first I thought it was old material that had been dug up from when dude “fantasized” about having a pretend fling with Mariah. I was thinking to myself, ‘Hey that was before me so it is really none of my business, so I’m going to give him a pass.’

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“He even describes his desperate lameness in this bad excuse for storytelling track. What type of grown ass man lies about getting with a chick? Only Slim Lamey!” Cannon went on to say that Em is bitter because Carey “wouldn’t let him get to second base” several years ago. He then pondered whether or not to take his anger to wax, before deciding that he wants to get at Em on “some grown man s—.”

Cannon stated that the lyrics about his wife were not only disrespectful to her but to Black women in general. Although Carey has always described herself as being of mixed race, Cannon felt the need to remind readers that she is in fact black. “Believe it or not, Mariah is the same racial mixture as our beloved president Barack Obama. [Black Father + White Mother = BLACK].”

The post/rant concluded with Cannon informing Slim Shady that despite his other commitments, his new full-time job will be to make the rapper’s life miserable. Cannon even threatened to start rapping again. “As a matter of fact I think you [are] going to bring my wack rhymes out of retirement! That’s right haters; you can thank Eminem because I’m going to start rapping again!”

Eminem’s long awaited ‘Relapse’ album leaked online last week and is due in stores May 19.

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