Newly released taped interviews of Michael Jackson reveal that pop star had an obsession with making his father proud, being loved, and a not so friendly thought towards Madonna. The King of Pop sat down for 30 hours of candid taped discussions with his former mentor Rabi Smuley Boteach, who released the recordings for his new book, 'The Michael Jackson Tapes: A Tragic Icon Reveals His Soul in Intimate Conversation.'

Despite being a decade old, Jackson addressed many of the speculations about himself still relevant today. Among them is his embattled relationship with his father Joseph. "I'm scared of my father," Jackson told Boteach. "He was rough, the way he would beat you, you know, was hard."

According to Boteach, towards the end of his life, Jackson's drive behind rebuilding his career was to receive public acceptance in place of personal love. "If I sharpened my craft, maybe people will love me more."

Jackson also talked about fellow pop star Madonna, whom he had a friendship with. "They [celebrities] admire you and know you're wonderful and great but just they're jealous [be]cause they wish they were in your place," he said. "M is one of them. Madonna .... hate to say that on tape. She's not a nice." Boteach clarified that Jackson's comments about Madonna were made about her earlier in her career and that his perception of her had since changed. Ironically, Madonna spoke about her relationship with Jackson at this year's MTV Video Music Awards admitting that she and others had "turned their backs" on him.

As the recordings go on Jackson inadvertently acknowledges his addiction to plastic surgery by revealing that he didn't want to wrinkle and grow old. Perhaps in the most cryptic statement of all, the deceased star spoke of his love for children, "If it weren't for children, I would chose death," he said. Were he to die, Jackson said that he wanted to be buried next to children because he needed their spirit around him.

Following his 2005 child molestation trial Jackson became reclusive spending time out of the country and out of the public eye. He remerged for the ill-fated 'This Is It Tour,' set to begin just weeks before his death. "I think all my success and fame, and I wanted it, I wanted it because I wanted to be loved. That's all."

The Jackson family had no comments on the tapes.