‘Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta’ Season 3, Episode 17 Finale Recap: Joseline Gives Wedding Ring Back to Stevie J, Waka Flocka Can’t Make Babies
A three-month saga filled with lies, deceit, seduction, betrayal and lots of sex came to an end last night as ‘Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta’ finally reached its season three finale. In true Mona Scott-Young fashion, the hour-long season goodbye had plenty of drama – surprisingly fist-fight free — to last until loyal viewers get to see the Atlanta cast return next spring.
From Hoe-thea and Joseline’s twitter beef to Mama Dee finding her purpose with a newfound singing career, the show went out with a bang and three trending topics. We’re sure you caught the finale by now, but in the extreme instance that you live under a rock, here’s a recap just for you.
It’s no secret Tammy and Waka Flocka Flame are on a mission to make some babies, but in the four years the two have engaged in their adult sleepover, Tammy’s still walking around “without a baby in [her] stomach.” The new Mrs. Malphurs has no problem running to the doctor to see if all her parts are functional, but asking Waka to do the same takes a little more convincing. And now we know why. We don’t say this to be funny, but according to doctors, the ATL rapper doesn’t have very many little swimmers floating around these days. Unless a few medical miracles come along to help the rapper create a few million more kids in his package, it doesn’t look like Tammy and her new groom will be procreating the old fashion way anytime soon.
But if you let Mimi tell it, Tammy and Waka’s problems are nothing compared to the hell she’s going through. If there was anyone out there that didn’t think her year-long boyfriend Nikko was a douche before, they surely will now because he takes things up 12 levels. Nikko decides to cut a single inspired by their high-selling sextape and Mimi’s superb upper body strength. Mimi walks in the studio while her now ex-boyfriend is recording ‘Shower Rod,’ singing “I’ll f— you in the shower, hands up on the rod, she’s gonna give me pleasure,” blah blah blah.
Nikko, being the dummy he is, acts like nothing is wrong and stops recording only to say, “What’s up, baby,” but not before getting his attempted kiss completely rejected. But for once, the Stevie J wannabe stops playing games and gets right to the point. “The last conversation we had, you said the marriage was a problem for you and I agree with you. So the divorce is being finalized.” Here, Nikko pictured Mimi jumping for joy and celebrating his “good” news by creating a ‘Scandal in Atlanta’ sequel, but instead she finally grows some cojones and snaps. “I ain’t no dumb bitch. You got me f—ed up.”
Molly the Maid gets an A for effort in attempting to stop letting the man publicly humiliate her, but let’s recap the last 16 episodes and have a jury vote on whether or not she’s actually a “dumb bitch.” During Mimi’s rant, she brings up the fact that she had a chat with Nikko’s old friend Johnny Chrome, and for whatever reason that just makes the “scumbag” lose it. The only thing he has left to say to Mimi is “Act like you’re 40 years old and sit down.”
Meanwhile, on the other side of Buckhead, Rasheeda finally launches her Poiz cosmetics line, but she makes sure to keep the guest list for the party extra tight because she’s channeling her inner Scrappy singing, “[I] ain’t want no problems, problems.” Unfortunately, that plan fails when she puts Benzino on the list because all he cares about is interrogating people to find out dirt on Joseline. Zino conveniently runs into Stevie J and Jojo’s old producer, Fly Dantoni, and he has a few things to say about the Puerto Rican Princess. “I don’t rock with [Stevie] anymore because of her. I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Those two sentences refer to Joseline’s scantly-clad outfits, and the fact that she’s been sleeping around with half the people in Atlanta, including her former driver, Big Rich. And really, according to Dantoni, Jojo carried on a three-month affair with her driver before she decided to move on to the next. Dantoni takes Big Rich to meet Benzino outside of Rasheeda’s big event, and Big Rich didn’t hold back when it came to running his mouth about his secret lover. In fact, according to the Jordan’s now ex-driver, he would drive Joseline to go get “beefcake” from everybody when Stevie J was sleeping and especially when he was out of town. Zino, being the good friend he is decides he has to tell Sleazo what’s really good with his “wife,” but of course the conversation doesn’t go as planned.
The confessionals going back and forth between Z and Stevie mimic a kindergarten fight in the sandbox, debating whose dirt mountain is bigger. Ultimately, nobody cares. Neither believes the other, so the conversation is utterly pointless. But SJ’s best move is channeling his inner NeNe Leakes by asking viewers why Benzino is inserting himself in women’s business? Shout out to Peter and Cynthia!
Of course, Stevie feels the need to confront Mrs. Jordan about her alleged extramarital affairs, but a 10-year-old could have predicted how that senario would end. “If I’m gonna sleep with somebody it’s not gonna be a minimum wage paid driver. Let it be a CEO…” Jojo screams at her “husband” when he brings up Rich. Then she switches to Benzino and starts barking about what she’s going to do when she sees him in the streets. “I’m gonna take that n—- by the neck he don’t got and whoop his ass.” In the end, Joseline gives Stevie J the ring back and says she’s done. The best part about this scene: everyone now knows the two were never really married.
The show begins its descent — yes, like an airplane — by cutting to Mama Dee recording her first single, ‘A Mother’s Kind of Love,’ in the studio. Her clearly Auto-Tuned vocals serve as the season’s wrap up soundtrack while the cast members deliver their final confessionals.
In a few short words, Karlie Redd is single and ready to mingle; Tammy is counting down the days to her next child; Kirk and Rasheeda are “back to respecting each other and remembering why we fell in love in the first place;” Tony and Kaleena finally welcome their son back home; Joseline reminds everyone she’s “gonna always make s— happen because I’m that bitch;” and Mimi admits she was a dummy: “I’m still hurting from finding out about Nikko’s lies, but at least he’s out of my life personally. I still have to do business with him… I made some bad decisions, but I can’t keep beating myself up about it. What’s done is done.” But we can’t forget about Stevie J — he grows a heart.
But just when you think the show is over, Stevie J meets Mimi at a suburban restaurant to finally, truly apologize for putting her through some nasty s— over the years. He follows that up by letting her know that now it’s just him, her and Eva. “We’re a triangle. Me you and Eva. Can you just believe me now? I’m here now.”
The question everyone should be wondering is whether or not this means Stevie and Mimi are back together?
P.S. – Althea asks Benzino to postpone the wedding.
The reunion special will surely be a must-see. Stay tuned.