In a recent interview with People magazine, Kanye West opens up about finding the right girl, feeling like an "alien," and life after the sudden death of his mother, Donda West. The rapper/producer has been relatively quiet since his mother passed away last year. "I didn't do any interviews after my mom passed, I wasn't ready to speak about [it]," West said. "Now I'd rather talk it through than commit suicide. I'm super devastated."

The rapper avoided the press while he worked through his painful loss, but became way more active on his blog. In September, dodging the paparazzi landed him in some trouble and he was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport on felony vandalism charges.

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"It's lonely at the top," he told reporters at a London listening party for his new album, '808's & Heartbreak.' "Losing my mom, having no woman in my life to support me -- I feel like I'm on my own and can only express it through my music." While West tries to express his emotions through his music, he admits that he's still depressed and blames himself for his mother's death.

"I feel like I moved to California, then my mom moved to California, and she did stuff she wouldn't have done if we'd stayed in Chicago," he told the magazine. "If I'd never made it in the music business, it never would've happened."