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Joaquin Phoenix to Release Rap Album, Freestyles at Party

Joaquin Phoenix, one of Hollywood’s most talented actors, recently announced his retirement from the silver screen, only to return to the limelight, treading the narrow path that K-Fed once paved, as a weird celebrapper.

Phoenix more closely resembles producer Rick Rubin than Eminem, having gained about 50 lbs., a beard and sunglasses, and the story sounds like something Andy Kaufman would have cooked up. Phoenix quit acting rather abruptly, then, in one of those “only in Hollywood” twists of fate announced that he would be releasing a rap album executive produced by Diddy (why not?) with “Wu-Tang inspired beats.”

Phoenix has since performed his raps at several Hollywood parties, appearing bearded and disheveled, and totally serious about his rapping career. Actor (and Phoenix’s brother-in-law) Casey Affleck is involved as well, filming the performances for a documentary on the former actor’s “new path.”

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