6 Things I (Sorta) Learned About Dating & Love From Robin Thicke
Editor's note: Boombox contributor Amber McKynzie (@amackgizzles) gives us her take on Robin Thicke's love advice.
When it comes to love in this business, I’ve just about given up. The game, the pick-up lines, the “what’s your favorite color?” are officially overrated, and I would like to think most people agree. But just when I’m ready to throw up the deuces to that elusive four-letter word, R&B superstar Robin Thicke decides to offer his lessons in love to Radio.com listeners — I happened to be one of them — and makes me think if I follow his rules I might still have a chance.
So to follow in the footsteps of my college friends, and break the music industry stereotype on love here are six things Paula Patton’s hubby taught me about love.
1. Pick a Person You'd Let Break Your Heart
“You have to pick one person [that] you’re okay with them breaking your heart ’cause that’s the only way you can give everything. Otherwise, if you protect your heart, then you can’t be a great lover or husband or wife because you’re still holding onto, ‘Well, I don’t want to give you everything because you might leave.’”
In theory, that sounds like the stupidest piece of advice I’ve ever heard, but in some twisted way Thicke has a point. You can’t commit to a relationship when you enter it half-heartedly for fear of being hurt. If fear of them f--king up prevent you from dropping your guard then what’s the point of having that person around in the first place?
Moral of the story, however much you’ve practiced keeping someone at a distance because you’re scared, forget it; let it go. Either you want to try it out or you want to be alone. Your choice.
2. Being Snarky Doesn't Make You Attractive.
“Be kind and be funny … don’t try to challenge the people ’cause then they’ll go, ‘Oh, I don’t really want to talk to you.’”
When it comes to picking up an artist or musician, Robin says, "Watch it!" A lot of people, including myself, think facetious commentary or smart remarks will lead to endless, clever romantic banter. But according to the 'Pretty Lil Heart' singer, that’s all in the imagination. I hear what he’s saying, I just can’t promise that lesson will be practiced tomorrow. Maybe that’s the problem.
3. When It Comes to Clothing, Less Really is More!
“It’s normally a good thing for the guy! [But] there can be a mixed message. She might dress slutty, but then the guys starts to think she’s slutty and then he treats her inappropriately. [But] she doesn’t wanna give it up. I actually like it when girls dress a little slutty, personally.”
Not sure what I learned here except that if I ever meet Robin Thicke, I should dress slutty? Maybe he’ll treat me inappropriately, maybe he won’t. But hey, Almond Joy’s got nuts and Mounds don’t. Make sense? Probably not, but it rhymed.
4. If You’re Young, Don’t Have Sex on the First Date
“If you’re young, you don’t know the emotions that come after that [first night]. But once you get older … if you’re a working woman and you haven’t gotten any in a couple years, or you’re like, ‘It’s been eight months since I’ve had sex!,’ then sometimes you just gotta let it go and you end up having a great time.”
According to the singer with a great voice and a full head of luxurious hair, when it comes to having sex on the first date, your age makes all the difference. I never thought of it that way, and I certainly didn’t know sex on a first date had an age restrictions. I knew having sex when you’re young shouldn’t happen anyways, but at least now I know it shouldn’t be on the first date. So the question here is, does this rule apply?
5. Make the First Move … With Confidence
“It’s encouraged because girls don’t know how scared guys are of being rejected! If you see something you like, go out and let him know. Guys like to be flattered and complimented as much as a woman. We don’t act like it, but if a woman comes up to you and says, ‘You’re sexy. What’s your name?’ We’re off to a great start.”
I’ve heard this one before, but never really acted on it. Women are just as fearful of rejection as men; the difference is we know we rule the world so we don’t let it show. For some reason, Bey's "Who Runs the World" is now echoing in my head.
6. When Online Dating, Take a Buddy
“Any online dating should come with a chaperone, a friend or something because one-on-one online dating can be very scary. There’s a lot of crazies out there.”
Well said, Robin. I watch too much 'Law & Order: SVU' not to think I’ll be stalked and abducted after meeting someone from the Internet. The key here is if you don’t take a buddy on your one-on-one offline session, then everyone in your phone book should know exactly where you are. Then once you know you’re safe, eHarmony.com and Match.com say you’re guaranteed to find the love of my life.
Want to see Robin Thicke's entire lesson on love? Check out the full video below.